The old saying goes… Eloquent words aren’t true. True words aren’t eloquent.
When you don’t know the right thing to say, are incredibly flustered (or angry), and nothing comes to mind but words that are sharp as knives… Choose to say nothing at all… Answer them with silence.
People may think you don’t care, but really you care for them far more than they know because you are choosing to think before reacting. You are choosing to allow the right words to come to you when they are ready, you aren’t forcing them out in the heat of the moment.
Silence ensures you won’t say something you’ll regret. Silence ensures your words won’t be misunderstood.
Take a minute, breathe deep, regroup, think…then speak.
Your relationships will be better for it.
I am all for using your words once you’ve found them (this is something I have struggled with my whole life) BUT, now that I have found my words and am no longer scared to use them, I am working on thinking before I speak.
Words can’t be taken back.
I had a wonderful teacher in this — an ex-partner of mine said things to me that could not be mended, could not be forgotten because they now lingered in the air between us… but, he wanted me back.
What he said made it very difficult to go back to him because I wasn’t sure if when he said he “didn’t really mean it” was the truth or the words he had spoken when his defenses were up and his filter was down. It was an incredible learning experience for me because it taught me I never want to make someone feel the way he made me feel that day.
My heart was broken and every verbal jab only added to the physical pain I was feeling. I felt his words to my bones.
When you must speak, speak with integrity.
When you must listen, hear what is being said.
When you must walk away, keep your eyes forward.