Ouch! This is a hard lesson.
My example is this: I have had a person in my life for over a decade. They always promised me a safety net and then pulled it away leaving me bruised and bleeding at the very last second. They kept breaking me … and I kept letting them.
We created a pattern of loving and disappearing.
Now, I am not innocent. I also hurt them. I left them. I have been fearful of them. I allowed our past to dictate our future instead of giving it a chance when the next one came around, but some memories are hard to forget. They live within you and resurface when triggered by the littlest of things. Also, when the behavior is continually repeated, it becomes a pattern that is hard to break.
I loved this person deeply. I dropped everything for them when they would give me their time and then felt defeated when they would disappear. I never got an explanation. I never got an apology. After years and years of this give and take routine I grew untrusting, I grew tired, and I finally stopped letting them in. The wall I built between us only grew vaster by every brick they placed upon it.
They would constantly tell me “this” and “that”, make promises they wouldn’t keep, and make plans they wouldn’t attend — I wouldn’t even get a call/text until days later (if I even got one). They never showed up for me.
I never understood this behavior, but it set a precedence.
Eventually, I had had enough. My heart couldn’t take it anymore and I let them go. I wish this person nothing but happiness and well-being in whatever they do, but I don’t need to be there to see it.
I’m not the one, and that’s ok.
It is OK to walk away from destructive situations – without explaining yourself. In the end, you need to do what’s right for you, no one else matters. Your beauty, your integrity, your confidence, your passion, your love, your desires, and your goals are worth it. Don’t settle on someone who doesn’t make you a priority. You deserve better.