It had been almost a year to the day since I’d heard from him.
Our relationship was long and complicated… It was filled with unkept promises and long nights of waiting for the phone to ring, but, every time it did, my heart leaped out of my chest, and butterflies filled my stomach. Every time we made plans, I believed him. It took years of us loving and then one of us leaving for me to get it. It started when I was sixteen and it took over a decade for me to finally decide I as done.
But I was finally ready. We were both living in the same city at the same time and it finally felt like everything was lining up for us. We both wanted this. We both wanted to see if this chemistry between us was real.
The timing was perfect. I had just landed my first book deal and had moved to the Big Apple to be closer to my publishing house. My best friend had moved to New York fresh out of high school and was now one of the top decorators in the city. She was graciously letting me rent one of her lofts. But, when I say loft, I mean like a Samantha from Sex and the City kind of loft. This place was huge, vibrantly decorated, and had a beautiful view of the city and Central Park.
My culture shock kept me winded. New Yorkers were fast-paced, one-pointed, and impersonal. The city was loud, crass, and self-centered, but I loved it.
One night it happened… I was up late in the city that never sleeps working on some final edits when I heard the “ping.” My jaw dropped, my coffee cup crashed to the floor and my eyes about popped out of my head as my heart stopped beating and my breath came short.
It read: Gabriel has sent you a message.
Gabriel…
I opened the chat as my heart fluttered at the sight of his name.
Gabriel: Hey Evie! How are you?? Looks like NY living is treating you well. Congrats on the book deal by the way!
Ah, that’s how he knew. He must have pried the information out of his sister because nothing had become public yet about my book deal. He must have begged because she wouldn’t have told him anything unless be badgered her until she broke. She loved her brother and she loved me, but she kept us separate because of our shared history.
Gabriel: We should get together sometime! I’d love to show you my city!
Their family had roots in New York and when a job presented itself for Gabriel, he jumped at it. He had wanted to be a police officer his whole life and I was so happy to see him pursuing his dreams. Plus, a little birdie told me he had been promoted to Detective, but that’s all his sister would say and it was as far as I cared to investigate.
I took a deep breath as my fingers caressed the keys. I weighed my options. The pitter-patter of my heart won.
Evangeline: Hey Gabe! I had heard you were back in NYC. It would be nice to get together sometime soon.
I held my breath as I waited. I had fallen for this man when I was sixteen. That moment felt like a lifetime ago, but I remembered it like it was yesterday. I exhaled as I heard the “ping.”
Gabriel: Great! Here’s my new number… Give me yours and let’s set a date!
With that simple exchange, our journey started all over again. We spoke as if we hadn’t skipped a beat. But then…nothing.
The day of our “meet-cute” came and went without a word. I called, I texted, but nothing. He went ghost. I didn’t understand. Our conversations came flooding back to me…
“I still think about you all the time.”
“Why do you think you still think about me,” I asked.
“Because you were meant to be with me.”
“I’m just scared,” he stated. “What if we get together and you decide you don’t want me…”
“What if you decide you don’t want me? It works both ways, Gabriel.”
“I don’t want to regret not having you,” he spoke with conviction. “You are the love of my life.”
“Around you, I forget everything that’s happened or happening, I smile around you.”
Evangeline heard his voice echoing across her mind as his words played with her heartstrings. Loving Gabriel was never a choice. It was fate, but fate is a wild, untamed mistress.
About a month after Gabriel’s disappearance from my life I figured out the “why.” There was another woman.
Again.
Again, he had chosen someone else over me, over us. That was almost a year ago to the day as we collided with one another as I rounded the corner of the coffee shop.
My coffee splattered onto the sidewalk as my eyes focused on his face. My heart leaped into my throat as he cleared his.
“Hey, Evie,” Gabriel’s voice was guarded.
“Gabe,” I responded tersely.
He made the first move as he stepped towards me, but I couldn’t keep it together, I flew at him.
My fists collided with his chest as I screamed at him, “You don’t just tell someone you are in love with them and then disappear!”
“I know, I know! Evie, please…” Gabe pleaded.
My body was still heaving with rage, but I slowly began to calm down. I realized I had to leave.
He mumbled something as I tried to shuffle by him, but the weight of his hand on my shoulder stopped me.
It’s funny how we change, we grow, and we adapt. People we once thought were the best now hold no appeal, their beauty lost behind the inner demon they let us see. Yes, we can always find beauty in the darkness, but not if they no longer let us see it.
Gabe sighed, “Let me get you another cup of coffee, Evie.”
“No,” my voice was almost shrill. “Thank you. I’m fine.” I tried to step out of his reach, but his hand didn’t leave my shoulder.
“Evie,” Gabe’s voice was sorrowful, “I’m engaged.”
Daggers stabbed my chest as his words resonated within my brain.
“And all I can think about is you. I made a mistake. I… I still love you, Evie.”
My eyes turned to meet his.
“Say something, Evie,” Gabe grabbed both my shoulders and turned me to fully face him.
There we stood on the corner of two streets as the city around us went silent.
“Come on,” Gabe sighed as a smile curled his lips. “I’m going for broke here.”
“I… I… I don’t know what to say. I’m…” I didn’t have time to finish because Gabe’s lips were on mine and my body melted as my mind went blank.
I pushed him away, “Gabriel, I can’t do this.” I wriggled out of his grasp and took off down the street with him calling after me.
“I know you still feel it too, Evie! Your lips don’t lie!” He baited me as I disappeared into the nearest cab.
And then it started all over again…
“Who’s that at this hour?” Max asked, his voice groggy.
“I don’t know…” I stated as I reached for my buzzing phone. It was Gabriel calling at 2am. I hit the power button and rolled over to cuddle against Max’s warm body. We had met shortly after Gabriel’s no-show over a year ago now. He was a producer in Hollywood and the latest book I had written had gotten his attention.
I still remembered my sweaty palms as I walked into the bright, naturally lit office in his building in LA. There was a group of about five people in front of me and I felt Max’s eyes on me the second I walked through the door.
“This is the crew that is interested in bringing your story to life, Evangeline,” my agent stated as he started the introductions. When he got to “Max Alexander,” my ears perked up.
Max stood up to shake my hand. He was over six-foot with dark-brown, curly hair and magnetic blue eyes.
Needless to say, I got the movie deal and as we were leaving, Max offered to take me to dinner to celebrate. He had a smile I couldn’t say no to.
He picked me up at my hotel and it was just easy. He was fun, light, adventurous, and a gentleman. He took me to his favorite sushi place and we closed the place down. Next thing we knew we had our hands all over each other as we fumbled into his house overlooking the ocean.
And that was it. I never looked back because he gave me a reason to look forward.
The distance didn’t bother us. I commuted to LA constantly to collaborate with the writers of the screenplay and Max frequented NYC for work and for me.
Max supported me, he guided me to try new things, and he encouraged me to be courageous. He was the best partner I had ever had.
But Gabriel still called. Two months had passed since we’d run into each other outside the coffee shop and he still reached out to me every day. I hadn’t realized how much I had kept bottled up until I saw him. Years of disappointment overflowed out of me, but, once I calmed, I realized the one huge thing that I no longer needed in my life was him.
And then, one Wednesday, it came, an invitation to Gabriel’s wedding one month from now.
Max walked in on me blankly staring at it.
“What’s that, babe?”
“An invitation to Gabriel’s wedding,” my voice was void of warmth.
Max looked at my face as he approached me. He took the invitation from my hand, set it down on the table, and embraced me. I hadn’t told him the whole story, but he knew enough.
“Well,” Max’s warm breath kissed my neck. “Should we go so I can thank him?”
“What?” I laughed as I pulled back to look into his face.
“You are the best thing to have ever happened to me, Lena. And without your past making you who you were you wouldn’t be who you are today, and that person is someone I can’t live without. So, whatever you need to do, do it.”
“I love you,” I smiled as I looked into his deep, smoldering eyes. I loved it when he called me his nickname for me, Lena. I twisted in his arms to grab the invitation and sighed, “Well, it’s settled. We aren’t going. I didn’t get a plus one.”
…The Wedding Day Arrives…
Gabriel was panicked. Evie hadn’t returned his calls, his texts, his messages… He needed to see her, we needed to tell her how he felt before he made another huge mistake, but she wouldn’t listen. She kept saying she was happy, but he didn’t believe her.
She’s meant to be with me! Gabriel thought as he left his apartment and hailed a taxi. How could she do this to me, to us!?
“Hello?” Evangeline’s voice echoed across the line.
“Hey, Evie,” Gabriel answered.
“Gabe, Happy Wedding Day.” Evangeline waited, but he remained silent. “Why are you calling me?”
“We never got your RSVP.”
“Gabe, I’m not coming. Where are you calling from?”
“I used Tony’s phone because I knew you wouldn’t answer my number. I need to see you, Evie. You need to listen to me!” He kept going, but Evangeline was looking into Max’s eyes.
“Do what you need to do, babe.” Max winked. “Maybe seeing you will break the spell…”
Evangeline bit her lip and sighed, “Gabe, I’m coming to the church,” and she hung up. She looked at Max. “Will you come with me?”
He nodded, “Yes.”
As the large, black town car pulled to the curb, Evangeline could see Gabriel waiting in the open door. They stepped out and Gabe’s stance grew as he met eyes with Max.
Max squeezed her hand, “I’ll be waiting right here.” Evangeline smiled as she walked away from him. He leaned against the car as he watched her climb the stairs towards her past.
“Thank god you’re here, Evie. I’m still in love with you. I’m so sorry, I’m just…I’m so sorry. How can I fix this?” Gabriel stared at her as she was backlit by the sun in the doorway. She didn’t move farther into the room.
“There’s nothing to fix, Gabe. I spent so much time dwelling on a fantasy that always disappointed me because my prince was constantly choosing someone else. You set me free that day, Gabe because I finally decided for myself that I couldn’t do this anymore.” She stared into his glossy eyes. “I’m your past, Gabe. She’s your future.”
“This can’t be over…” Gabriel withheld a sob. “It’s you and me, it was always supposed to be you and me.”
“Gabriel, I came here because, regardless, I care about you. You were very special to me, but we have both moved on, that’s very evident today.” She held his eyes and saw the flight in them. “Here’s your chance, Gabe, to have everything you’ve ever wanted. And there’s a part of you that knows to your very core that I’m not in that scenario.”
Gabriel sighed, “You’re right. I’m just scared and you were who I always ran back to when I was scared.”
“I know, but now is your chance to run to the woman who loves you and wants to spend the rest of her life with you.”
“You’re right, of course, you’re right.”
Evangeline smiled, “Good. I am truly happy for you, Gabriel.”
As Gabriel stared into her eyes, he knew there was nothing he could do to persuade her anymore, his enchantment over her was broken.
“I just don’t’ know if I can do this…” The fear in his voice was palpable.
“If this isn’t where you want to be, then leave, Gabe, but leave because you need to.”
“She’s just not you, Evie.”
Evangeline stared at him for a long time and then answered, “You’ve had over a decade’s worth of chances to show up for me, and you never came through. I know I played my part as well and for that, I am deeply sorry, but it is your wedding day. You asked this woman to spend the rest of her life with you and I know somewhere inside of you, you meant it. Now, get your ass out there and do what you said you were going to do.”
Gabe nodded as he stepped towards her. He bent forward to kiss her, but her words stopped him.
“I’m pregnant, Gabe. Max is the love of my life and he has been showing up for me every day since I met him. You need to stand down.”
Gabe didn’t retreat but instead kissed her cheek. “It’s really over.”
Evangeline nodded.
“But, Evie, what if…”
“That’s not a question I ask anymore.”
He felt as though his entire insides had been ripped out as she walked away from him, down the steps of the church, towards Max. As he watched her, Gabriel realized that she had done something he never thought she could do …she let him go.
Gabriel later found out that she and Max had moved to LA full-time. They had married and had another child after their little boy. He heard about the screenplay, but he couldn’t bring himself to watch the story of his and Evangeline’s love play out before him. But his sister told him all about it, and his wife really liked it. Neither of them knowing who the tale was really about because Evie had done a fair job of fictionalizing it.
Yet, as he smiled at his bride-to-be that day and said “I do,” he knew that the woman standing before him would do, but she would never be Evangeline. He got what he had settled for and as he replayed Evangeline walking away from him for the last time, he knew that she hadn’t settled because she never did.
It was one of the things he loved about her.
Read the rest of the story…
Evangeline and Gabriel: Introduction
Evangeline and Gabriel: Dedication
Evangeline and Gabriel: At 1st Sight
Evangeline and Gabriel: Sitting by the Campfire